Shortly after I completed the last edit of Brand-New Emily, I discovered a hilarious take on the Hollywood machine: The A-List Playbook by Leslie Gornstein. Leslie is an online columnist for the E! network and has a show on satellite radio where she answers questions about celebrities. I recently interviewed Leslie to find out everything you need to know about how the entertainment industry works and how you, like Emily, can apply that knowledge to your own life.

Ginger: How are middle school and high school like Hollywood?
Leslie: The main similarity is the way rumors work in Hollywood and the way rumors work in middle school. When something is repeated enough, it becomes reality. Even if people know it’s not true, the rumor stains that person forever. In Hollywood, it often works backward where the publicist will create a positive image of the celebrity. Like, they’ll take a woman who’s really not that beautiful, but her publicist will get her on some magazine covers, declaring her to be the sexiest woman alive, and eventually, the public believes it because they’ve heard it over and over. But when it comes to middle school and high school, it’s the opposite, I think. A rumor becomes something you can never really get over. Words become reality.

Ginger: Your column is great fun to read because you’re so straightforward, but that can be dangerous in your profession. How do you continue to work when you say what you really think about powerful celebrities?
Leslie: I have rabbis in the building. And when you have rabbis in the building, it makes all the difference. My editor always goes to bat for me. Does that mean I can say whatever I want? No. But for the most part I’ve been very, very lucky.

Ginger: What can girls (like Emily) who don’t fit into the popular mold learn from Hollywood about how to deal?
Leslie: Well, the main thing I noticed about Emily, especially in the beginning, is how sort of apologetic she is about everything. And her fear is almost palpable around these popular girls. And she’s like “I’m sorry, I didn’t know….” And I think one of the main things that stars to the publicists do well is to push back really hard. And if Emily had sort of thrown her shoulders back from the beginning and said, “Well, you shouldn’t have spilled that thing in the first place” or “He’s the principal! I’m not gonna lie for you! Go in there and fix it yourself!” I think that goes a long way. When a girl shows that she has a healthy self esteem, it’s harder to steamroll her. The popular girls will still try. And they will still get their little victories in. But even if it’s just questioning them–“What is your problem?” or “You know what? Get over it!”—it goes a long way. I think that’s something that a girl that age has a hard time doing because when they’re that age, the power structure just seems unconquerable. The popular girls are in this pack that will physically surround you and verbally surround you. They’re going to come at you with numbers, with this backing. Of course they will still laugh in your face [if you stand up to them], but don’t think that you haven’t scored a victory.

Ginger: Colby Summers pretends to be a teenager even though he’s 28. In the internet age, do you think celebrities can still have any secrets?
Leslie: Absolutely they can. Especially because, let’s not forget that publicists have the power to kill stories. They can call up an editor of a major paper and say, “You will never get another interview again with Client B if you run this story about Client A.” They do that all the time. If you ever want an interview with Client B again, you kill the story about Client A.

Ginger: If a girl should meet a celebrity, like Emily meets Colby, what’s the best way to behave? Should she go up and talk to him or leave him alone or what?
Leslie: Don’t ever, ever, ever talk to them when they’re eating. Ever. The best places to approach them is when they are somewhere for the purpose of meeting their public. At a premiere or a public appearance, they’re there to meet people. If you happen to meet someone at a club or a restaurant, they may be in a good mood, especially if you’re a kid, like Emily is, because people are tolerant to children. But if I were a child’s mother and I were teaching the child manners, I would explain to them that they’re not going to get very far. Then I would also give them a harsh reality check and say, unfortunately–and this is the truth—that as much as the stars appear to be reaching out to their public, they don’t want to meet fans. They really don’t. And my advice really would be, don’t spend so much of your time thinking about them. They want you to think about them all the time but they only want your money; they don’t want your friendship. When a fan comes up to them, it’s almost a slap in the face because they will behave rudely or obnoxiously because the cold reality is that most stars just want your money. And it’s a lot better to focus on your own self esteem and your own opinions because your family and your friends…it’s going to sound corny, but they’re the real celebrities in your life.

Ginger: Are celebrity publicists more like Noreen, cutthroat and mean, or more like Brynn, nice and smart?
Leslie: Celebrity publicists are more like Noreen. There are a couple of publicists that are exceptions, that are truly A-list publicists, who represent the AAA list, and they are really nice, professional people that I’m proud to call colleagues, but most of them are horrible. They’re worse than Noreen. They are like half wild animal. Noreen is hard driving, but the true celebrity publicist is mean.

Ginger: Does the job make them that way or do mean people become publicists?
Leslie: I think people who want to be close to celebrities go into publicity, and they believe they’re the celebrities’ friends. And they believe themselves to be mini-celebrities, and they cannot separate their function and their client.

Ginger: Can you name a smart publicist and how they handled a PR situation really well?
Leslie: OK, perfect example. This may not sound like much, but it’s perfect. I called a publicist. Someone asked a question about how celebrity play dates are set up. The Beckhams and Tom Cruise have the same publicist, so I called him up and asked about play dates. First of all, he took my call and he didn’t ignore me. That’s big. You may think that’s no big deal, but it is. He took my call immediately. And he said that’s a personal issue, we don’t comment on that. And that, to me, is all I can ask for. And it spoke volumes because he took the call and was polite.

Ginger: Emily is repackaged and her new look sparks a lot of attention. Are celebrities just really perfect? Or with all that money and expertise, could anyone be extremely attractive?
Leslie: She had just over 3000, isn’t that right? Most of the time, we would all look that good, but it would take more money than that. It takes 3000 dollars to hire a publicist. But then you get free stuff. I forget…does she get free stuff?

Ginger: She borrows a dress from the closet.
Leslie: Yeah, she borrows a dress from the closet, but most celebrities, because of their status, not because they hire publicists—they hire publicists because they have status—most of what they wear or the beauty services they receive are free. So whenever you see a celebrity, and it doesn’t matter where they are, you can bet that at least 90% of what’s on their body, in their hair, on their feet, their underwear, their mascara, the color of their hair, was free. It’s not so much having money. With power, you get everything like that for free.

Ginger: Back in the day of the studio system, they’d concoct these little fake romances between the stars to hype their films, kind of like Colby and Emily have in the book. Do you think they still do that?
Leslie: Oh, yeah. I do. I know it for a fact.

Ginger: Towards the end of the book, Emily experiences “product lifecycle decline.” Who do you think is ceasing to be relevant—so in they’re almost out—and how do you think that particular celebrity could be repositioned in the marketplace to become relevant again?
Leslie: Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brothers are overexposed, and I know this because at E!, I’ve been writing about them. And I can see how the fan response has dipped. And also with the Jonas Brothers, their movie did less than expected. And I did an item about Miley Cyrus the other day and it didn’t make as big of a blip as it usually would. I believe that they’re both overexposed. Now Miley is very smart. She’s putting out her Hannah Montana movie, which the children will love it. Adults will cradle their heads, but the children will love it. And then she’s doing something very smart. Nicholas Sparks, author of The Notebook, approached Miley Cyrus and said, “I want to write a movie part for you.” And he did, and now he’s writing the companion novel, and she’s shooting the movie this summer. They’re keeping the plot under wraps, but from what I understand, it’s a troubled character and it’s completely unlike her Hannah Montana character. The character is going to have some issues, so I think that’s very smart.

Ginger: If you were the Jonas Brothers’ publicist, how would you reposition them?
Leslie: I would like to see them produce other acts. I think that would give them some cred. I’d also like them to show a little bit more range in their music. They should stay together, but they should all be doing something separately, too. Solo projects, production, writing music for other people, whatever to show they’re truly artists and not just a packaged Disney band. And then they could come back together again. They should stick to their music if they want to do it, but do some other things, too.

Ginger: Any final words of advice for girls?
Leslie: The one thing I would want to drive home to girls is to stop worshiping celebrities. Think of them as the hired help. It is their job to entertain you, not the other way around. It’s not your job to worship how they look or wonder what it would be like to meet them or date them. Most of them are jerks. They’re the entertainment; they’re the hired help. That’s how you have to think of them.